Hopefulness

"If being crazy means living life as if it matters, then I don't mind being completely insane. "


I loved the weather today. When I opened my eyes and looked out the window, it was there: the sun was shining, announcing his comeback,as well as mine:)
Spring always had a healing power over me, used to fulfill me with hope and inner strength and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that somehow, with "it's help", I'll leave this mess behind. I've been stuck in a darkness for a while and I know I should fight more,be determined and make rational choices. But I sometimes seem to leave the guard down. I'm too stubborn, I hate making concessions, I know what I want and I can't accept that some things (or dreams) are unattainable.
However,this time, as the entire nature is coming back to life, so will I, slowly,but surely. I've closed a few doors, stopped having expectations from people that used to mean so much in my life, I've turned around and I'm looking forward to reaching my goals. There's no stopping me this time:)
I will not be poisoned again and I will certainly not lose my temper. The pathology is out of my life.
I will never forget you,but I know you're in a painless place and the love I have for you will not fade in time, it will grow stronger, helping me follow your steps, be the person that you were: kind,loving and giving.
I will not be self sufficient, I will not give up and I will never allow someone to change me. I won't care if I will be judged, misunderstood or criticised.
It's always easy to jump to conclusions, form opinions based on superficial facts, but it takes time to really know a person, to understand his\her dreams,opinions, hopes and disappointments.
If some people will take the easy way, judge me before trying to understand, then they are not worth being in my life, because:

"...Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed,maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.."